COVID-19, you got me today

Let me preface by saying no, I do not have Coronavirus. I do have anger and resentment and sadness and frustration toward it. I have a big case of the sniffles right now from the bawl-fest that just went down in my car because of it. I have restlessness and anxiousness and some grief mixed in caused by it. I have an insane amount of gratitude for the courage and willingness of first responders and hospital and doctors office staff during this time. I realize how this virus has taken it's nasty toll on the majority of the world and even my immediate community. I'm grateful for my health and that I still have the opportunity to support myself (and Messi) through all of this.

But, I also realize I'm completely mourning the loss of the ending of this school year for my students.

Last week, our Governor made the call to close schools for two weeks to help prevent the further spread of you-know-who. I was pretty okay with that, I didn't get mad at the decision. I definitely knew it was for the best after seeing the last few weeks of news articles and reading COVID-19 scary death totals and survivor stories and symptoms. I didn't want any of my kiddos to get anything from anyone else or bring anything home to their families. I was excited to be given the option to still work from school and have time in my classroom to plan and get things together for the kids to complete at home. I was feeling pretty confident I could emotionally handle what was being thrown at me. I felt like I jumped right to "acceptance" in the stages of grief and was doing okay figuring out what the next two weeks would look like. 

The end of last week, you made me restless and ready to have my kids back.

This week, I wish I could have a sit down with you, Coronavirus. I'm wrecked. You really tried to beat me to a pulp today. You've stolen the ending of this school year from us, of second grade from my babies. My favorite part of the year where we review content and get ready to move to the next grade together in our classroom. We talk about becoming third graders and get excited for that big transition together in our classroom. We discuss what we will do over Spring break and we were even going to hatch chicks and learn about life cycles together in our classroom. I was fortunate enough to loop up with my class from last year. How lucky am I to witness almost two years of growth and laughs and jokes and hugs from the same group of kiddos? As a teacher, I'm not okay. I'm not okay I can't see my kids until May 15th face-to-face. I'm not okay I can't go over morning sticky's with my kids or walk them to resource or have whole group carpet time or let them buddy read or review text features or show me "something cool" they can do together in our classroom. I'm grieving of what the ending of this school year could have been for these kids together in our classroom. How we could have been together learning instead of at home separately through computers. I'm grateful for those devices and computers and the online learning resources, but I desperately want to be learning together in our classroom.

I'm not okay, COVID-19. You've made a lot of things feel unfair this last week. You've taken a lot from a slew of people these last few months. I know it was a safe call and the right thing to do to cancel school for the health of everyone, but I want to sock you in the face. I know a few parents that would join me in this fight. You make me angry that others won't stay home so we can get back to our "normal" sooner. I don't want to be angry or restless or sad or resentful or anxious.

I'm aware of how fortunate I am. Believe me, I've seen and read and watched of how much worse it could be. I'm grateful for my health. But right now, I'm sad. My students' parents are stressed for good reason and doing the best they can. I'm doing the best I can to provide what they need. I'm proud of the communication we've had and available resources for them to use for their kiddos at home. I love the photos I've gotten of my students learning at home and doing their best work. I know parents are figuring out how the next two months will look just like I am trying to. I know there are positives and I promise I am seeking and noting them.

But I desperately want to be the one teaching their kiddos together in our classroom.

The New New

Hey friends!!! It's been a minute, well 5 months worth of minutes. Lots of exciting things are going on, but the biggest is that I moved!

I had fully intended on renewing my lease at my prior shoebox, long story short, things started to happen throughout the last 6 months of my lease and I wasn't comfortable living there anymore. I miss that little space and how I made it, but I didn't realize exactly how uncomfortable I was with the environment until I moved into this new space. Y'all, it feels like the "big girl" apartment of my dreams and I'm so excited to share!! Always always follow your gut, friends.

My intention with this blog is to share fun finds and ideas. Like with my last shoebox, majority was found at Goodwill, Habitat, Hobby Lobby, and Amazon. I reused A LOT from shoebox 1.0, but it all feels so different to me in this space. I always link what I can!

Bathroom

I wanted to keep it clean in the bathroom because the space felt almost complete to me already. The counters and cabinets almost felt like decoration, is that weird? I reused my shower curtain and rugs, but I'm still on the lookout for a new big bathroom rug. 

Powder room sign here.

Bedroom

My bedroom is so comfy to me! My bed, side table, and TV stand were reused and my mama gave me the corner chair she thrifted. If y'all remember, I used that TV stand in the living room of my last apartment.

Bedding

Throw Blanket

Curtains

Living room

The living room is where I'm at the most when I'm home and I wanted it to be warm and full of pillows and throws. Essentially, the most perfect napping environment. I made all of my bigger purchases in this room, I *finally* got rid of the yellow couch!!! When I moved into my first apartment, I bought a $60 couch from a thrift store that already had been loved a lot and it was yellowed and h   e   a   v   y and worn. A new couch was the one thing I was the most ready for! 

Turns out, couches are freaking expensive. I was very naive. If you're thinking, did this girl really order a couch from Amazon? Heck yes I did sis and I fully have no regrets. I did my research and combed through review after review and waited for it to arrive. It came in two boxes that looked like this...yikes right?

All was well and when that piece was put together and I finally got to sit on it, it was awesome! I would 100% recommend it to anyone living in a shoebox with a pup. It's just big enough for two and naps like a queen. This coffee table is amazing! It opens up for storage and it was super affordable. My mom even got one when she saw mine!

Couch

Coffee Table

Rug

Couch Cover

Extras

I am all for a fun welcome mat, my last mat said Nice Underwear and it was a $10 score from Roses. After two years of tread, it was time for a new one.  Did you know funny welcome mats are freaking expensive too? What the heck. I was going to bite the bullet and chunk out the dough when I found this one.

It was divine intervention friends. I put it in my Amazon cart and sat with it contemplating my decision...y'all it dropped to $20!!! Literally sitting in my cart. I don't know if it will do the same for you, but I would try it. 

Mat

I had a dilemma with where to hang my keys and Messi's dog leash as well. I didn't want to nail a shelf to the wall, plus there really wasn't a place to put it. I found this scarf holder at Hobby Lobby and it was perfect! Perfectly on sale too.

This one has been with me since freshman year of college. My mom recovered an old thrifted bulletin board and it's been hanging where I have lived since.

As always, nothing is ever perfect. I shifted stuff out of all of these photos to get the "shot" I wanted and you can always find a pile of junk at my door that needs to be hauled off. The dog cage is an eye sore and doesn't blend in. You didn't see any pictures of my closet for a reason and every window has dog licks on it. Just keeping it real friends! We are 5 days deep into the new year and I'm feeling so inspired in this space. I hope 2020 brings the same for you!